Make women rational creatures and free citizens and they will quickly become good wives - that is if men do not neglect the duties of husbands and fathers.

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.

I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.

The war on terror is the most insane and immoral war of all time. The Americans are doing what they did in Vietnam bombing villages. But how can a civilised nation do this? How can you can eliminate suspects their wives their children their families their neighbours? How can you justify this?

I don't have time for their judgement and their stupidity and you know they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and look at their loser lives and then they look at me and they say 'I can't process it' well no you never will stop trying just sit back and enjoy the show. You know?

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

I talked to ex-wives of musicians of the '70s for research. They're the funniest people in the world yet there is this sad beautiful thing in their eyes that says they've seen more than they could ever possibly tell you.

I want to say a little something that's long overdue the disrespect to women has got to be through. To all the mothers and the sisters and the wives and friends I wanna offer my love and respect till the end.

There is no gilding of setting sun or glamor of poetry to light up the ferocious and endless toil of the farmers' wives.

I feel like I'm a stay-at-home mom which I was for the five years before this. She's absolutely been my focus. That's the choice I made. Desperate Housewives is perfect for me. I get to go back to work and still be able to take my daughter to school and pick her up.

It's the moms of this nation - single married widowed - who really hold this country together. We're the mothers we're the wives we're the grandmothers we're the big sisters we're the little sisters we're the daughters. You know it's true don't you? You're the ones who always have to do a little more.

Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men although he was twice married it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives' mouths.

Sometimes I've been to a party where no one spoke to me for a whole evening. The men frightened by their wives or sweeties would give me a wide berth. And the ladies would gang up in a corner to discuss my dangerous character.

Men are April when they woo December when they wed. Maids are May when they are maids but the sky changes when they are wives.

Bachelors have consciences married men have wives.

A father may turn his back on his child brothers and sisters may become inveterate enemies husbands may desert their wives wives their husbands. But a mother's love endures through all.

Adam knew Eve his wife and she conceived. It is a pity that this is still the only knowledge of their wives at which some men seem to arrive.

By and large mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class.

The great secret of doctors known only to their wives but still hidden from the public is that most things get better by themselves most things in fact are better in the morning.

Husbands are chiefly good as lovers when they are betraying their wives.

I love a smart well-written show and '30 Rock ' well you can't get any better than that. Tina Fey poos funny. There's nothing that she does that isn't funny. That show is an example of how brilliant she is. It's so smart. They've done some brilliant commentary about the 'Housewives' with 'Queen of Jordan ' their show-within-the-show.

My dad is a nurse midwife one of about only 50 male midwives in the U.S. I think.

Look at Neil Diamond. Was he the cool guy? No he was the housewives' guy. He didn't try to be what he wasn't. He just did what he did - made great music was a good entertainer nice-enough guy.

Campaign behavior for wives: Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Lean back in the parade car so everybody can see the president.

I have noticed... that men usually leave married women alone and are inclined to treat all wives with respect. This is no great credit to married women.

Wives are young men's mistresses companions for middle age and old men's nurses.

I suppose when they reach a certain age some men are afraid to grow up. It seems the older the men get the younger their new wives get.